When a man loves a woman...

Percy Sledge is full of shit. In his biggest hit, "When a Man Loves a Woman," Mr. Sludge opines that a man who is truly in love will do the following:
- turn his back on his best friend if he criticzes the woman
- spend his last dime on her
- give up all his comforts and sleep in the rain.

I don't know much about Sludge's personal life (in fact, I know absolutely nothing about it), but I'd bet my bottom dollar that he didn't spend much time sleeping in the rain, and if he did, it had more to do with some mind-altering chemical than it did with his one true love. In fact, I'd be willing to wager that Mr. Sludge -- being a famous singer of love songs -- went through women in a manner wholly inconsistent with what his famous song advises to the rest of us.

For the record, women aren't impressed with the type of man who will dump his closest friends, squander all his money and sleep in the street. These are not advisable ways of demonstrating love. If we're worried about violence in the media planting the wrong world-view in our kids' minds, shouldn't we also be concerned with the self-destructive, unrealistic vision of relationships planted in their hearts by silly love songs?

Anyone know some realistic love songs? I nominate "I need a woman who won't drive me crazy" by John Cougar (pre-Mellencamp). Save your last dime, fellas.

On the other hand, is there any more egregious example of shamelssness than Elvis singing "Suspicious Minds?" It's a song sung to a suspcious woman by a man who is SHOCKED that she'd suspect him of infidelity. Come on, Elvis! Reminds me of Richard Pryor's line when his wife catches him in bed with another woman, "Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?" Go with your eyes, ladies.

And if Mick Jagger can't get no satisfaction, what hope do the rest of us have?